Chantelle I’ll try to Carpe Diem

I had all these things I wanted to say and the moment that I looked at the piece of paper they disappeared. Two years is everything and nothing. Something reminds me of you every day, eating peanut butter, A Lana Del Rey song, ordering a drink in Starbucks.

Everyone experiences loss, death is meant to be natural but when someone takes their own life, it suddenly seems so unnatural. I think the hardest part is not their death but that they are no longer there to share in experiences.

People make impacts on us. They help influence the people that we become. Chantelle certainly has changed me. In loosing yet another person so close to me I’ve learnt to appreciate the moments we have with individuals be it only a few minutes or a few days, months, years.

We made sure to see each other every week (for years). We went every Wednesday to Starbucks (well up until that one day that crazy man started yelling at us and threaten to chuck coffee on us.) And even though we spent so much time together I have one photograph of the two of us. I didn’t realise this until it was too late. So though I still cringe when people want to take a photograph with me I put up less of the fight. I try to remember that photographs are important, they freeze a moment in our lives saving it. Helping us in the future to remember that moment in more detail. (So please everyone the next time I say no to a photograph remind me its important because I tend to forget.)

I’ve learnt to be kinder to people even if I don’t feel they deserve it. To give everyone the benefit of doubt and to be generous. To devote time to others.

This next lesson wasn’t learnt quickly, I’v had to stop and look at the situation, more than once. Learning not to hold on but to let go of relationships that aren’t working. Not just romantically but also platonic. I think the main problem has been trying to keep in mind to be kind and generous and give people the benefit of the doubt but forgetting that my emotions are just as important. That I shouldn’t put myself through emotionally turmoil for the benefit of other peoples feelings. I have to seriously learn when to draw the line and I think hopefully that I’ve learnt this. I sometimes have to stop and think about you in order to remember this is important. 

In a generation so tied into technology I think we forget about the emotions behind the screen. That seeing people in the flesh is more important then what is perceived online. To also make the effort with those whom we can’t physically see. To make a phone call to hear the others voice to try and not be disconnected.


I feel if we spend more time investing in others, They will know that they are important to someone and that they are worth while and loved. To take them as they are, to accept their faults and to help them flourish to their full potential. More individuals would wake up wanting to start their day, to achieve what they can.

Make time for people, see them in the flesh, go experience things. Its cliché but you’re not going to remember the times you sat in front of your computer chitchatting about something or other. Your also not going to remember the times you took hundreds of selfies pretending to be doing something interesting, when really all you did was sit on your phone looking through Facebook while the other person sat near you doing exactly the same thing. Give your full attention to people make them feel appreciated and important because why else would you spend time with them otherwise. 

Chantelle you have made some of the most important positive impacts to my life. I wish I could share them with you (maybe not my peanut butter!). Ill do my best to share them with others and to also Carpe Diem!

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